The Problem with Breathing
by Singe
Summary: Inhale. Exhale. Again, and again. Just another cycle, one that happens even without thought. But in the end, it makes all the difference in the world. [Focus: Naruto and Sasuke]


Author's Note: Trying something a little bit different with this, and right now I'm hoping it doesn't get me killed or kill me itself. You see, a while back, I picked up the album _Foiled_ by Blue October, and fell completely in love with the band. I also couldn't help but think that almost every song could be used or applied to the Naruto genre, particularly Sasuke and Naruto. This CD has quite a few tracks, and I have ideas for almost all of them, so the chapters should be long and somewhat frequent, depending on how busy my everyday life is.

So, here I am, randomly creating a so-called "album fic" in that each chapter will feature or be based around a song found on the above CD. This is something semi-new for me; so all feedback/reviews are greatly appreciated.

All lyrics were found online since they aren't printed with the CD. Please let me know if there are any errors in them. I've rechecked them a few times, but it's possible I've missed some typos. Some versus have been cut in the number of times they are repeated, just so they aren't obnoxiously present.

Disclaimer: I make no claims of ownership to anything involving the series Naruto (names/places/plots/etc.) or to the wonderful music/lyrics of Blue October.

Title: The Problem with Breathing  
Chapter: Stoned, Forgetful, and Then  
Song: "You Make Me Smile"  
Character Focus: Uzumaki Naruto 

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_Some kind of light  
at the end  
__when touching  
__the edge of her skin_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Waking up in Konoha that morning after, the white of the hospital lights was blinding and the worn paint walls seemed to shine with an inner light, something like warmth. Though it might have been from Tsunade-baa-chan's necklace somehow reflecting light from the window into my eyes, or my body attempting to repair itself from the inside to cope with the damage that had been inflicted by the Kyuubi's temporary release. Whatever, that's not what really matters. 

The world (…well, what I could see of it, anyway) was hazy, seemingly covered in a fog, making the light all the worse, and Tsunade was just a little too close for comfort, staring worriedly at my face, a hand pressed to the side of my bandaged throat, double-checking the chakra repair that was taking place. There was…a warmth, small, insignificant, but still present on the fingertips of my right hand, one of the few places not tightly wrapped in bandages. I tried to move my head to find the heat's source, but Baa-chan sent me a look and a muttered "don't move" to stop me, as if the pain racing through my body hadn't been enough to stop me. A few minutes later, she spoke again.

"Alright, that's it for now. Get some sleep and don't you dare move. At this point it would just slow everything down."

She gently ruffled my hair and turned to go. Judging by the sound, Shizune apparently moved to follow her out the door.

"I couldn't…" I began, once again staring at the ceiling.

"Don't worry too much about it now, brat. Kakashi brought you back and no one's seen him since. So he's either hiding out somewhere with that idiot's newest Icha Icha book or out looking for Uchiha. So get some sleep."

Then came the sound of the door opening and their footsteps fading.

"And don't you dare wake Sakura up."

The door closed. Ignoring the first of her orders, I shifted and glanced toward the warmth settled on my fingertips. Sakura was asleep; her head pillowed on her arms on the edge of the bed, the rest of her body slumped over in one of those uncomfortable hospital chairs.

My hand was in hers.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_Once so hard to speak  
Now so easy to play around._

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Time passed…hell, years passed and Cell 7 seemed to become a long faded dream. Kakashi had reappeared eventually…alone. Sakura trained with Tsunade and I left to train with Jiraiya.

Things had been awkward between Sakura and I after I had gotten out of the hospital. There had never been much of a bond between us until near the end of our squadron. Somehow…we had both been more reliant on him. But something had happened over time and we went from just teammates to friends. Together, we could weather all the rumors and odd, sad glances we seemed to always be surrounded by for the first few months.

Everyone knew that we were really the only ones Sasuke had left behind. It was Uchiha that had abandoned everything, everyone…them.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_Catching your eye you know  
That eye that slapped you in your face  
And called you a puppy_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Sakura told me how he left, what she had said and done to try and stop him and how he had been just as cold, if not colder, than he had always been. That his eyes had been dead, so dead, and angry and empty and full of a thousand other things (pain, hatred, spite, loss, contempt…) at the same time.

She told me how he had thanked her, but never was clear about what for, and how she had still been crying when she woke up hours later on a concrete bench on the side of the street that she thought she would have been forced to watch him leave by.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_Well how do you say  
I was hypnotized  
Hypnotized_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

How was I supposed to tell her? Who was—am I to tell her that all the contradictions and pride and hate and pain that she saw in him that night…that that was Sasuke, had always been Sasuke. Well, at least for the years since his clan had been wiped out. Hell, maybe even before that, I don't really know. Sakura had never really looked or noticed before, but somewhere along the way I had, so I knew exactly what those eyes were like as well.

But I had not been afraid of him or his eyes. Because they meant he was still human, alive, and near. They meant he was still Sasuke. Our Sasuke. And did it really matter how much I seemed to care that he was with me?

I could never tell her how much those eyes captivated me.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_My words, they pour  
Like children to the playground  
Children to the playground  
You make me smile._

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Sometimes I dream Sasuke is still there, that we were closer than we used to be, had ever been. The dreams were there, even if the pervert and I were thousands of miles from home. In them, we talk and I tell him things I've never told anyone, will never tell anyone. And when I hear his voice in my dreams (illusions, hallucinations…whichever) it makes me happier that I can ever remember being, even if his eyes are still so damn cold.

Because, even if it's only in my mind, my memory…he's still Sasuke, our Sasuke, and I am still unable to turn away.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_There's some kind of light at the end  
Stoned, forgetful, and then  
I'm drinking what used to be sin  
And touching the edge of her skin_

_And could you be the one that's not afraid  
To look me in the eyes  
I swear I would collapse  
If I would tell how I think you fell  
From the sky_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Some time later, when Jiraiya and I get back to Konoha, I've made up my mind and do no more than drop my bag off at my empty, nearly abandoned, apartment before I go in search of Sakura. Unsurprisingly, she's at the Hokage tower, sorting through some paperwork that Baa-chan no doubt was hiding somewhere from.

"Hey, Sakura-chan," I greet her happily, trying not to think of what for some insane reason I've decided to confess to her, and to ignore the queasy feeling in my gut. Figures. Any time I have something important to say to her, I have to get nauseous. Hopefully this time I won't become physically ill from it.

Because something tells me I'm going to be physically hurt before today is over.

"Naruto, you're back!" She's genuinely happy to see me, something I'm still getting used to. When we were younger, I was just the thorn in her love-struck foot on the path to Sasuke, but sometime before he left she actually began to care for both of us, not just the masks the rest of the world saw.

"Yep, me and the pervert just got into town—"

"Which means you're looking for someone," she interrupts, "to buy you ramen."

"Well, now that you mention it…"

She sighs in a pseudo-annoyed manner. "Alright, alright. Just give me a minute to finish with this."

"Why don't you make Baa-chan do some of her own work? Just leave it."

"You know I can't do that; she depends on me. Besides, it's after noon, so she's probably too drunk to walk, much less think right now."

"…what?"

"She and Shizune went on lunch break about three hours ago."

"Oh, I see." I rest my hand on my chin and squint my eyes as if in deep thought, a habit carried over from the days when I had no idea what was occurring in the world around me, but liked to pretend otherwise. In any case, Sakura was right: Tsunade would not be showing up again today unless there was an emergency…gods help us all if we have to rely on a drunken Hokage.

Sakura quickly finished her sorting, straightened the three stacks she had made, and went to find her coat. Konoha may have nice weather most of the time, but fall was starting, the heat of the summer months fading away.

As we left the tower, she smiled at a guy in the lobby, a Chuunin if I'm not mistaken. Don't think I know him…anyway, he blushed and lowered his eyes. Sakura's smile grew. I don't know if I should be relieved or terrified. Or just confused. Might as well go with plan B and not think about it, just tease her mercilessly on the way to Ichiraku.

Somehow we end up near the old training grounds, ramen in Styrofoam containers in our laps and cheap, disposable chopsticks in our hands. Sakura had suggested it, perhaps sensing my need to tell her something. I'm grateful in any case, because what I have to say really doesn't need an audience.

We eat and talk. Talk about everyday things: who has obtained what rank or has been transferred, and who is probably sleeping with one another. About Kakashi probably stalking Jiraiya (at that very moment) for another Icha Icha volume, with Gai trailing not far behind to challenge his reluctant rival. About Kiba finally admitting to Hinata his feelings only to be threatened not only by Neji, but Shino as well that he had better take good care of her. Of Konohamaru and his misfit gang trying to live up to my legacy of pranks and failing miserably due to their attempts generally occurring under Iruka's watchful eyes. He had learned to pay attention well enough, thanks to me. Konoha was Konoha, despite the years and wars it and its' people had seen. It's nice to be somewhere so painfully close to home.

"Naruto," Sakura suddenly said, her voice firm. She placed her empty bowl and chopsticks on the ground next to her and shifted to face me fully, her arms crossed. None of these has ever been a good sign.

"Yes? What is it, Sakura-chan?"

"That's what I'm asking, idiot. Something's on your mind, and don't try to pretend otherwise; I know you too well. So, what is it?"

Oh dear gods, here it comes. Now if only I could remember ant of the thousand scripts I had thought through before. She was staring at me with that concerned-angry expression (very reminiscent of baa-chan, I might add) so I did what anyone would do. I fidgeted.

"Naruto." The warning bells were screeching in my head. Only one option now, my specialty, the painfully direct route. If only I wasn't feeling so nauseous.

Sasuke." I manage to mumble. I don't know if she heard me, but the muscles on her face tighten.

"…What?" Sakura's voice is strained.

"Sasuke is what…er…who is on my mind."

We've talked of him before, even publicly stated out belief in him and that come back, had even faced him together after two years. It's been nearly a year since we last saw him, but that seems to just twist the knife deeper, if Sakura's face is any indication. I turn away from her before I continue, unable to stand the pain in her eyes. She had not been expecting his name.

"I…I think," the sentence seems to take all my energy to say, but it has to be said. "I think I love him."

"Well, of course you do. We all do. Would we have put up with any of his shit if we didn't?" She's really annoyed now, for bringing him up for something so obvious in her eyes. "He was your rival, best friend, whatever. I know guys don't like to say it or even remotely admit it, but people love their friends, especially the ones closest to you…it's only human."

"Not that kind of love." I interrupt, part of me wanting to laugh at the situation and another just wanting to go curl up in a corner and die. Or maybe just throw up. One of the two.

I already know I'm blushing.

A pause.

"Oh."

Silence.

I sneak a glance at her. She seems deep in thought, but then sighs and visibly relaxes. I glance away again as she looks up from where she had been staring.

"It's about time you figured that out." Sakura says it calmly, though her voice is shaking slightly.

"…What?" What the hell is going on?

"Well…it was always kinda…there. But the more I was around you two it seemed pretty obvious something not exactly normal was going on, especially after the whole Haku "killing" Sasuke thing. And well…you did kiss him at the academy."

"That was an accident! I was pushed!"

"Sure it was, Naruto." Oh crap, she's entered teasing mode. Best to end it now.

"And I remember getting my ass kicked by you and the rest of the fan club. Why no violence now?"

"You know," she says thoughtfully, "I don't really know. Probably because I know nothing will change your mind and that the two of you have such a weird relationship that no one can really change it."

I know there has to be more to it than that. "And?"

She shifts her eyes away from me. "Well…"

"Sakura."

"And now Ino owes me lunch for a week."

They bet on…? I can't help the laugh that forces its way out, and after a moment, the stress and her unexpected reaction get to me, causing me to fall on my back upon the grass, laughing wholeheartedly. Sakura smiles and rolls her eyes at my behavior, but I know her; she's giggling too.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_There's some kind of light at the end  
Stoned, forgetful and then  
I'm drinking what used to be sin  
And touching the edge of her skin_

_It's the feeling I get  
My palms with sweat  
Like some kind of daydream  
I'll never forget  
I'm stuck in this spin  
Why does it begin  
By touching the edge of her skin_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Now when we talk, there's something more in the conversations, an honesty that didn't seem to exist before. Others have noticed and commented on it or simply given us the old eyebrow arch: from Gaara's missing ones, to Neji's and Ino's well groomed, and to the massive caterpillars of Lee, the question had been asked. Of course, Kiba somehow came to the conclusion that we were "finally" sleeping together, and then promptly announced it to the world.

Lee challenged me to a fight minutes later, glittering with Youth and tears. I was confused (having not been witness to Kiba's announcement), and avoided the fight. But the rumors were not so easily dodged. If the stories about Sakura and I were bad after Sasuke left, they only grew worse when people began to think of her and I as a couple. I swear, Kakashi himself started the rumor that Sasuke left because Sakura had fallen for me (or I for her, depending on who you heard it from). I always knew he was a sick bastard; the remnants of the Uchiha's fan club had not taken the story lightly.

We gave up denying the rumors eventually, as they grew wilder and more in-depth. Only something even mildly involving an Uchiha could stir up so much trouble. Stupid Sasuke. But I digress…

One way or another, Sakura and I have would up alone in the teeming night crowd of the annual Konoha summer festival. The others had wandered off to "give us some alone time," according to a bemused Neji. The jerk knew the rumors were false, but enjoyed making us suffer.

Sakura is wearing a long, light green kimono with darker jade accents. It's creepy how close the color is to that of her eyes, and I told her so earlier. She smacked me with her fan. Her hair is elaborately pinned, and I honestly could not care less beyond taking the initial notice of it. We're at a festival, in traditional clothing. Nothing out of the ordinary…well, save for the fact I've still managed to maintain my glaringly orange color scheme and have, ironically enough, a fake Anbu mask dangling from a chain around my waist.

"Look, goldfish!" she exclaims happily, sounding like a child. Sakura drags me to the booth, only to abandon me so she can attempt to catch one of the small creatures.

"Naruto!" she barks after a few failed attempts, "Stop standing there and help me!"

"What makes you think I'd be any help?"

"…You helped Sasuke fish."

The booth goes silent, and even the children surrounding the pond freeze. The crowd seems to hold their collective breath, waiting for my reaction to that name, _his_ name, and the attached memory. After all this time, those who didn't know him still don't understand how we can speak of him so easily.

I can tell, even from where I stand behind her, that Sakura is trying not to laugh.

"You say it like the bastard gave me a choice." I shoot her a disgusted glare to hide my smile, and kneel next to her, reaching to grab one of the small, frail nets for myself.

"Either way, it still worked." She sounds smug and it's hard to tell if she is referring to then or now.

Movement resumes at the booth.

Neither of us catches a goldfish.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_ There's some kind of light at the end  
Stoned, forgetful and then  
I'm drinking what used to be sin  
And touching the edge of her skin_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

There are fireworks going off overhead. Sakura's hand is in mine, but I pay no attention to either. I watch the lights through the reflections in the faces around us. Awe, wonder, love, beauty, life. In this moment…life is so simple for all these people…for me. 

Then, movement through the otherwise still crowd. It seems Gai-sensei has attempted to challenge Kakashi to a drinking contest. Oh boy. At least the explosions overhead down out the shouting…almost. Somewhat. Kinda…okay, barely.

Chuckling, I turn away, back toward Sakura, when a shadow amidst the summer colors catches my eye, but it is gone before I can comprehend it. Must have been a trick of the light.

"Come on," I mutter, tugging on Sakura's hand so she understands even if she can't hear me. The show is over, the street clearing as people make their way home to bed, to a bar, or the next attraction.

But Sakura is not moving, does not react to my tug of her hand. She is staring at something, her eyes widening, mouth slowly opening in shock.

Not something. Someone.

He watches us calmly, his face and eyes devoid of emotion as they've ever been, from what I can tell. Shadows hide his face thanks to the tattered, dark cape draped casually (but still somehow fashionably…some things never change) around him. My dazed mind notes that it's probably from Suna…looks like something Gaara would wear.

Sakura subconsciously digs her nails into my wrist, her other hand rising to cover her mouth. She's trembling, barely, but it's still there.

Or maybe I'm the one who's shaking.

No one around us seems to notice what's occurring, too drunk or preoccupied or tired to care about two of the many young Konoha ninja present, even if they are acting odd. No one else seems to know he's there, so close but so distant, a shade of something more hidden in a cloak far too heavy for Konoha summer weather.

"Naruto…Sakura." The voice is dry, scratchy, and unlike anything I've heard before. Its underused or overused…anything but what it should be. I want to cry. Why, I don't know.

But he is treading softly, so I will as well.

"Teme."

The world does not freeze, no breath is held. But he smirks…barely, but it's enough.

Sasuke.

Our Sasuke.

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

_ There's some kind of light at the end  
Stoned, forgetful and then  
I'm drinking what used to be sin  
And touching the edge of her skin_

O**0**O**0**O**0**O

Ending Note: This is officially the longest chapter I can remember ever writing, but that may be due to the fact that the entire thing was written by hand, something I rarely do. But inspiration for this always came late at night/early morning, so…hand writing it was and probably will continue to be. Parts of this have been typed for ages, I've just not had the time and/or motivation to finish it until now, but hopefully that won't be the case on the next chapter, which I began writing the other night. So yes, there is more coming. Eventually. 

Writing this was very weird for me. So, all comments and suggestions appreciated, especially if you happen to notice an error with the lyrics, since I know not every site I checked had the same words for each song.


End file.
